Perspective Vs. Objective Truth & How to Stop Arguments

As I contemplate how to tackle this enormous topic AND make it applicable to serving us in every-day life I’m drawn to teach about how to stop arguments by finding objective truth.

My good friend and co-founder of the Vedanta Institute Los Angeles, gave us a thorough breakdown of the three categories of truth. Thank you, Glen Callahan! 

When discussing objective truth vs. perspective, Glen defines perspective as subjective truth with a lowercase t; an assertion that is true for the person making it, but not necessarily for another observer. And I like the example you gave us, Glen; ‘The river flows left-to-right' is not universally true for people on opposite sides of the river’.

We can all grasp this pretty easily, right? It’s in the eye of the beholder. I’m reminded of the time my son was only 6 years old and said, “I don’t get why people ask if you see the glass as half full or half empty - it depends on where you’re standing - on your head or on your feet!”

So even children know our reality is all about perspective. Yet as agreeable as we are to the fact that realities are unique to the individual, isn’t the difference in perspective always at the core of every argument? And don’t we, culturally, behave as though there IS an ultimate truth in every story? A “he said”, “she said” and then what really happened?

So why do we put a death grip on our point of view and fervently argue that it is the only one which is right? Or true?

Ego is why. But there are steps to putting that into check.

I’ve found tremendous freedom from arguments rearing their ugly heads by doing some investigation into this. 

I’ll tell you how to do this for yourself. 

Our investigation relies on developing critical thinking skills, which you’re doing just by reflecting on this right now!

To begin your personal investigation, find your own objectivity: consider that your perception of reality can be broken down into component parts like the physical reality (more universal) and the mental reality (perception - mind/thoughts/awareness of thought).

Know that the physical reality is still being interpreted by your inner-experience and any judgments you place upon that experience. Know also that your mental reality is being interpreted by your inner-experience and any judgments you place upon your experience. 

Now apply these concepts to any given argument.

For example; let’s say you perceive that your spouse just spoke to you in a negative tone of voice. Your body tells you that tone literally hurts your ears. Your mind tells you you deserve more respect than being spoken to that way. You’ve just introduced negative judgment into both your physical and mental perceptions and now you’re holding onto it as “reality”. Let’s say your spouse totally disagrees that they used a tone which was disrespectful. 

Where are you now? You’re at an impass, right? 

Objectively you can go back and investigate; 

What happened that is objectively true? 

Let’s remember Glen’s definition: 'Objective truth' refers to those assertions that can be verified by any observer. They are the same for all, independent of who you are. E.g. ‘It is raining outside’ is true for all, and can be verified by all.

In this inquiry the following is true for all:

Your body sensed a vibration which produced sound. 

Your mind placed judgment on that stimulus. 

Your perception produced your reality. 

That was your inner experience. If you examine your own experience you will come to an objective truth directly. Can you see how objectively, even your spouse could agree that a sound was produced and that a stimulus received a negative reaction?

Now, shift your awareness to the very center of your head and through this new lens of objectivity, check in and ask yourself where you’re at on a scale of 1-10 with desire, curiosity and willingness to surrender. 

• Desire

To not fight

• Curiosity 

To inquire “I am open to a new perspective” 

• Willlingness

To surrender to the objective truth

Play with how it feels to slide higher on the scale or lower on the scale. If you feel like you’re only at a 4 with desire to not fight, see what it feels like to slide up to a 5 or a 6. You might feel a little calmer or a little lighter. Now see how it feels to slide down to a 3 or a 2. You might feel more frustrated or rigid. Eventually you’ll get to where you need to be to effect change and come to a resolution. If you’re really stuck in your point of view, make this your mantra for several days or several weeks: “I am open to a new perspective”. Say it silently in your head or aloud and watch for information to drop in when least expected. 

You’ll be amazed. I promise!