How to Be Content Wherever You Are
It’s a false narrative that anything outside yourself will make you happy. Ever since I was a little kid my birthday wish was to ‘just be generally content’. I think I was onto something but I didn’t have it quite right. As young as 11 years old I remember reasoning that if I felt generally content it would be the result of the world and everyone in it having relative peace. So therefore my wish for contentment seemed all-inclusive. As the years went on, and I learned more about the world around me, my wish seemed further and further from my reach. Cut to a decade or so ago and the inescapable buzz around Mindfulness…Here’s where my search to fulfill my wish began.
So what about Mindfulness? Does Mind-FULL-ness mean the mind is full of worry or regret? No. It means the mind is FULL like when your belly is full after a good meal. It is SATISFIED. To be satisfied is to be content.
In my definition, to be content is not an absence of external suffering rather an internal state of mind where focus is trained on the present moment - not on lack or desire. In a state of peaceful happiness. Satisfied.
My dear friend Beth said “We’re all a product of everything that’s happened but we only live in this moment - right now”
To dwell upon the past and live too much there or to be so nervous about the future that we give ½ our energy to worry is counterproductive. It bypasses what could be made of the present moment. We get hung up in regrets or future fears which are lower vibrational thoughts and feelings and the destroyers of all happiness.
Why do we place conditions on our contentment? We spoke about this last week - “I’ll be happy when...”
The world inundates us with false premises of contentment from lifestyle to celebrity to commercials. It’s always by way of hyperbole or exaggeration. People save 10% on the purchase of something and they burst into song because they got Bounty paper towel for less. Some of the most popular heroes have 7 homes, 3 yachts, and they build their own rockets to go into space. Where do we think affluenza comes from? Grounding your life on a lie. You get the affluence and then you get a list of side effects. It’s a false narrative that anything outside yourself will make you happy. And the void that is left is an endless deep pit. Many of us follow the wisdom of Yung Pueblo. He said, “I was never addicted to any one thing - I was addicted to trying to fill a void in me with anything other than sef love”.
Contentment leads to
Freedom
Liberation
Physical and mental health
It generates peace and reduces pain + suffering
For those who believe in universal laws like allowing and attraction, contentment vibrates at a frequency which resonates with desired outcomes
What would you add to this list? What else would contentment, wherever you are, do for you?
Surely, it would do a great deal, as this is ancient wisdom from the Buddha to philosophers to the Apostle Paul. Aristotle taught that for a person to be happy it is necessary to have contentment and virtue. He understood that one gets there by asking “How should I be” rather than “What should I do?”. This highlights my point that contentment is an internal state of mind which, barring any severe mental health disorders, can and will be achieved with intention and mind-FULL-ness.
That’s not to say that asking oneself what to do and taking indicated action is completely absent from achieving contentment wherever you are.
This morning I found out my identity was stolen and I had to freeze my credit. This precious day with my collaborators and with you could have been wasted, were I to sit in my suffering. I was tempted to announce, “there will be no teaching today on peace of mind because I have none” hahaha!! No. I took the necessary action to freeze my credit and then shifted my attention to my own contentment. If and when further action becomes necessary I will address it then. It’s not for my mind to wrestle with now.
How do you do it? How do you get content when you’re not feeling it? There are multitudes of practices which we can delve more deeply into in the comments.
Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques like
What do I see (count 5 things you see right now)
What do I smell (name 4 things you smell right now)
What do I feel (think of 3 things you feel right now)
What do I hear (listen for 2 things you hear right now)
Gratitude lists (taking inventory of what you really have in each moment).
Today I am OK right now
I have a roof over my head right now
My belly is full right now
I have air to breathe right now
And a very effective and quick method, called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
EFT is a version of acupressure which involves using your fingertips to tap on the body’s meridian points, or energetic pathways. I usually include a little mantra in my tapping and you can create one for whatever the disturbance is you’re seeking relief from.
Tapping
I am content
I am safe
I am sound
As always, I am so happy you’re here and I welcome a discussion in the comments!
