Aligning with Your Authentic Self
Aligning with your authentic self is certainly a buzzing topic right now but what does it really MEAN to be your authentic self? Are we looking to throw all decorum out the window and just follow every impulse that comes up “authentically” within us? No, in fact living authentically will probably take some discipline. But it all starts with awareness.
Today I’m going to tell you about how introspection, discipline, and perspective will help you align with the YOU you were meant to be.
Why do we feel such a PULL to be in full expression of our true selves? There’s an ancient Sanskrit term, VASANAS, which literally means 'wishing' or 'desiring'. Your vasanas refers to innate sub-conscious or latent tendencies in your nature. Simply put, the core of your desire is to express your nature. So for example I have a very TRAILBLAZING vasanas - so when I find myself without newness to explore I feel unfulfilled. But fulfillment of this nature can be sought out in many places - my vasanas does not have to become my CAREER. The important factor is that through self-reflection I’ve determined this need to DISCOVER in order for me to feel joy - I’ve identified tendencies in me which must be expressed in order to feel authentic in my life - so I can seek out opportunities to show up as my authentic self. The more opportunities I embrace to show up as ME, the more joy I feel.
Now I’m not going to ask you to do a visualization exercise because that can be challenging for some people but try this: close your eyes and think about what you loved when you were a kid. Were you always snuggled into a cozy chair with your nose in a book? Did the computer get your attention more than your own family? Maybe you were like me and nothing compared to sneaking into the uncharted woods outside the boundaries of the playground!
The reason this kind of memory exercise can be a first step in aligning you with your authentic self is because you came into this world already perfect and inclined towards your precise talents for a successful path forward on this wild planet. As you went along and learned things you were shaped by the cultural expectations of your family and the world around you. That can oftentimes lead us away from our paths and away from our selves. Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we imagine we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.”
I was quite successful in my corporate sales career because I delighted in the sense of exploration and discovery that came with outside field sales. I’d walk into businesses like Nickelodeon Animation Studios and sell them business services, just marveling at how cool it was to see “a day in the life”. When our virtual world turned all the selling into a Zoom platform I slowly but surely began to fade into depression and anxiety. Crippling anxiety, in fact. What had happened was that I became out of alignment with my core self. I was working in a capacity that no longer had ANY of the aspects which had spoken to my souNow I’m not suggesting that if you were a computer kid you have to quit your job as an EMT and become a software developer in order to be your authentic self in adulthood. No. The secret is to understand what you loved about computers and find expressions of that in your current life OR slowly pivot towards incorporating that into your current life. So if it is logic and reason that made screen time appealing, seek out outlets for applying logic and reason in other avenues of life. Find what is at the root of that desire for self-expression and run with it!
I had a client who’d been searching for a feeling of fulfillment from her job grant-writing. After sessions with me she unearthed a need to express her true self through creativity and over the next few months was able to re-direct her current work to incorporate more creativity into the role! She found that doing what she’s always been inclined towards helps her serve a purpose that provides meaning and wealth. Speaking of purpose, are you aware of how essential it is that you fill this role only YOU came here to fill? Whatever that inclination is that PULLS you towards being the complete YOU is necessary for the whole community! Some of you know that I’ve been learning a lot from wolves lately - I’m fortunate enough to be connected to a rescued pack about 100 miles from my home. Lone wolves do not survive in the wild and we are meant to be socially dependent too. In a pack each member plays a unique but crucial role for the survival of all. The most prominent tendency of each wolf is expressed to its fullest as they serve their role. The same is true for us - we’ve just been conditioned away from it.
It can take a little while to determine who that fundamental core self is. If the memory exercise tapped into something for you, a great next step is to journal about that childhood memory which came up. You can follow these prompts for self reflection - what were my favorite activities? What about those activities did I love? What you’re looking for is a pattern which you’ll find over time - this is why journaling is helpful here. As you observe yourself and make notes about the activities which helped you feel joy you’ll begin to see a common thread woven through your journal notes. Look for the lowest common denominator. What was at the ROOT of all those joy-producing activities?
Finally, it will all be about managing your perspective. If you’re focused on the aspects of life which DO align with your authentic self - those activities in your current life which give you that feeling you got as a kid when you were doing your absolute favorite things - you’ll find that you’re in sync in those moments. The task from there is to follow that FEELING. Start to notice when you’re doing other activities which have one aspect that gives you THAT FEELING. What are the activities or even just little aspects of certain activities which feel fulfilling? What’s a common theme amongst several of them? Are they creative, nurturing, puzzling, adrenaline-inducing? Start watching for those common themes. Within them you’ll find your vasanas. Little by little as you follow things that suit your vasanas you’ll build a well-rounded life wherein showing up as your authentic self is perfectly aligned.
So! In summary, introspection (observing yourself through memories and journaling), discipline (diligently watching for opportunities to express your core nature), and perspective (CHOOSING to focus on activities that make you feel good) will help you align with the YOU you were meant to be.
If any of you are interested in talking about this further we can. I find it helpful to put together an action plan for doing this work and I can share a worksheet to assist you in that plan.
