Setting Energetic Boundaries
Most of us know that setting healthy boundaries is recommended for emotional balance. Generally this might look like learning to gently but firmly establish honesty and autonomy. Setting healthy boundaries can also be done without words - simply by managing our energy fields. How might one accomplish this? Firstly, it starts by accepting that everything in the world is made up of energy. How do we know this to be true? Let’s begin by looking at the teeny tiny atom; the smallest part of any element in our Universe.
Scientists have known for more than a century that electrons have a set size and energy which keeps them in orbit around a nucleus. The lower the energy of the electron, the lower the orbit. As electrons fill up the orbitals, they fill the lower energy level first. If that energy level is at capacity, a new energy level will begin.
If you’re like me and you don’t have a friendly neighborhood Quantum Physicist to consult, you can do some investigation for yourself. Consider this, atoms are made up of vortices of energy that are constantly spinning and vibrating, each one radiating its own unique energy signature. We also have a unique energy signature!
Have you ever been sitting quietly and felt someone walk up behind you? How did you know they were there? You didn’t see them or hear them. Did you smell them? I hope not… More than likely you simply sensed their presence. You sensed or felt their vibration; their unique energy signature. Similarly, you’ve relied on your sense of someone’s unique signature if you’ve ever stopped and asked a stranger for help. Say you’re looking for directions and you encounter several people. How do you decide which stranger to approach? Don’t you quickly size them up and instinctively zero-in on someone who feels safe to you? How do you make that determination? Malcolm Gladwell assures us in his book, Blink, that we make decisions like this in the mere blink of an eye. Perhaps you simply liked the “vibe” they were putting out. The word “vibe” comes from “vibration”; the vibration of someone’s energy, which is unique to them.
Secondly, learning to manage our energy fields requires getting a sense of our own unique energy. I’m going to guide you through a 5 minute exercise now that requires tuning in to yourself in a meditative way. So grab your air pods, head into a quiet room and close your eyes.
**Watch this VIDEO
Finally, now that you’ve discovered and clarified the boundaries of your energetic field, explore it frequently. Play with it! The more you place your awareness on the edges of your field and your unique energy signature within it, the more skillful you’ll become at managing it. This is how you set energetic boundaries.
Perhaps you’re in a high-pressure role at home or work, where everyone comes to you to get their needs met. Maybe you're an introvert who is easily overwhelmed by extroverts and others.
This is a practice you can do frequently throughout each day.
Identify your field (go within and feel for your own energy)
Clarify where its boundaries are (know how far your own energy extends outward from your body)
Silently let others know not to step into it (center yourself in the feeling of your own energy before returning to the situation at hand)
Since this is hard to do in a moment of pressure, make it a regular practice. Establish your energetic boundary before transitioning from home to work, from your desk to a meeting room, from the car to picking up your child from school...
One of the most amazing outcomes of this practice that I’ve witnessed (in my own experience and those of the countless clients I serve), is its effect on relationships with children and animals. In less than a minute we can calm our own energy and set boundaries around our field, silently instructing our babies and fur babies on how the present situation will be handled. Non-adult humans and pets are highly receptive to sensing energies and when we adults become skillful at managing our energy, we send silent communication. What a great way to improve our parenting and pack-leader relationships and model healthy behavior.
I can’t encourage you enough to have fun with this! Don’t get too serious about it. Experiment in finding your field and becoming more aware of what your unique signature feels like to you.
For more on the history of energy and atomic research, find Bohr’s Atomic Model and the works of Niels Bohr.
